Post 9. Sunday Marks Week 2.

So this is the second week of this program, gone, done.... history forever. And I feel like I've done nothing but deviate from it horribly. But how I look at it is: It's the past, it's done, and I won't ever be able to change what WAS, I can only go forward and make it better. And this is true in other aspects of my life.... especially work -- which has me ever so anxious. I know that I am in control of these emotions, but I have the horrible tendency to think and believe the worst... and then attract that negative energy to myself. 

But sitting here writing this blog on a Sunday evening as my love is happily playing his Dark Souls game on the Xbox 360 a short distance away has me thinking that, damn it, I've got so much to be thankful for and grateful for and to be happy about. He (my husband) is wonderful, loving, kind, generous, doting, appreciative, affectionate... dare I go on and risk making everyone jealous? ;) He's just the bee's knees. I'm not sure what's so special about bee's knees, but that's him. Bee's knees, cat's meow, he's the damn bestest. 

So anyway. These past two weeks haven't been as wonderful with progress as I hoped they'd be, but as I previously said, I can't change a damn thing about them now. So on we march.

I have to admit that I've been out of whack with eating correctly (i.e. listening to my body's signals) because I've been so stressed with work that I've just kind of been in all directions, and eat whenever, wherever (I'm not an emotional eater, so it's not that I'm eating my feelings, it's just that I'm much more emotional in other ways so I don't take the time to care for myself enough. And that's the issue that I'm dealing with. But, that having been said, it seems to not have been too much of an impediment to my progress.

Also, I haven't been working out. I'm going to HOPEFULLY start this Couch 2 5K app that I got... Unless someone else has a better app that is free. I figure that if I can get into running by easing into it, maybe I'll have some success. I honestly was hoping to find a fitness center that is cheap that has a pool, but after searching, I don't have enough to spend on it, so I'm going to have to think of ways around it. Swimming would be awesome, though. *sigh*

So, this week... I have stuff for smoothies in the morning which will get rid of the "WTF do I have for breakfast?!" problem, because I feel that everything that would be within reach would be highly caloric or just not good. I know that it's going to have a lot of fructose, as it will be fruit-based, but I think that if I don't make it EVERY meal that I have, then it won't be terrible. I have some flax seed that I'm going to add to it, and I'm going to try to train myself to get up in the morning early again like I did when I had the crappy jobs that I used to have. I love to sleep, yes, but I think that I need to get an earlier jump on the day because I think that one of the reasons why I keep crapping out about working out is that I wake up so late that I feel like I don't have TIME, and then I rush off to work and then I don't get ANY time in later in the day -- because I have to face it that I'm definitely that person who gets shit done better earlier in the morning rather than waiting until later in the day. It just doesn't fit into the latter half of my day, so it HAS to fit into the earlier part of my day. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get my hubby to help me wake up by being sweet and nice and stuff... but I realize he's kind of a grump in the morning (love you!). 

I think if I start waking myself up earlier, that it'll help me ever-so-gradually. 

As much as I don't miss the job that I used to have, I have to admit that I felt more productive when things started earlier in the day. Even if I hated what I was doing, it felt kind of good to be awake so early and to get things done before the time of day hit double digits... and I even wonder if that has something to do with the fact that my progress has been so slow in other areas (namely, like I feel my career has been) because I feel like I waste the day by waking up so late. I know, it seems goofy, but I honestly think it's a valid point that if I can get a lot of stuff done in the morning before other people are even awake, then I'll feel better about the day. I think it's a compounding feeling. I'm weird, I know it, but hey.... I don't think that I know one "normal" person in my life, so they're not as common as you'd think. :P 

At the risk of this being a whole lot of "blah blah blah" I think that I'll just end this saying: This next week is a whole new week, with new possibilities, new opportunities, and I'm going to gradually make the changes that I need to to get where I want to go. 


But for the time being, I have a husband who would greatly appreciate some time with me. :)


xo

Mrs. Scurtu